Today, I had the honor of addressing the class of 2016 as they "moved up" to high school. To my wonderful students, thank you so much for this year! Here are my thoughts to you in commemoration of this moment we shared...
year marked an exciting milestone for me as a teacher because I had the
incredible opportunity to teach this class within a new type of
learning environment combining online interaction with face-to-face
learning. True pioneers as they are, they were thrilled! Okay, thrilled
might be an overstatement for how it all began, but we quickly fell into
sync and began to see each other through the digital spaces and
physical places we learned...and we learned together. Hopefully, they learned more than a little from me, but I doubt it would compare with what I learned from them.
For that, I am extremely grateful to you all. Beyond grateful, however,
I was left inspired by you, specifically by the way you always sought
the next thing on our horizon and the way you engaged in the interactive
components of the class. But as innovative as the experience might have
been, what most inspired me was the insight I gained through your writing, something timeless and very traditional.
this window, I learned so much about you on an individual level, but I
also began to see your perspective on some things on a collective level.
At one point, I asked you to think about life as a teenager and to
write an essay centered around a thesis regarding the teen experience.
One of the central themes running throughout all your essays was how confusing the teenage years can
be, and it occurred to me that there’s probably a good deal of fault
which must come back to us for this confusion for we are the bearers of
some seemingly conflicting messages.
real trick in emerging into adulthood is finding the right balance of
these seemingly conflicting points and in other areas of our lives. I
would ask Ms. Petronio to show us a balancing pose to prove this next
point, but we made her dress up today so I think you will have to use
your imagination. Balancing is not a static condition. My yoga teacher
(who isn’t quite as awesome as Ms. Petronio) always reminds us that
balancing is the constant state of balancing and re-balancing. I have
found this sentiment a very wise metaphor in guiding my everyday
endeavors, whether it’s balancing strictness with leniency as a teacher
and mom...or exercise with brownie consumption, so I thought I would
focus today’s address on the top 5 balancing acts you should keep in
mind each day throughout your teenage years. Full disclosure,
though...most of this comes right from you!
Balancing Act #1: Don’t be too full of yourself...but be a little full of yourself.
Has anyone seen The Avengers? Remember when Loki is mouthing off about how powerful he is, and he says to the Hulk, "Enough! All of you are beneath me. I am a god, you dull creature and I shall not be bullied."
What does the Hulk do in response?
(ask for Justin to act out...ps, good job Justin!)
Yes, exactly, after The Hulk smashes Loki repeatedly, he slams him down and says, "Puny god."
And that is what happens to us when we think ourselves omniscient and above all others...yet we are told we must be confident. Cailten's confidence expresses the precise balance between self-absorbed and confident. She wrote, "Everyone has obstacles in life. The way people overcome them is
how their character and personality shows. Even as a teen I think that I
know what I want in my life. I know what I want to be, and how I am
going to get there. Nothing is going to stop me." Such belief in oneself helps us overcome the many obstacles in our life.
Balancing Act #2: Don’t be afraid to be different...but wear your uniform impeccably!
Evangeline wrote, “[As
teens], we really don’t know who we are yet.” There is definitely a lot
of experimenting with who we want to be along the way to becoming that
person. We talk positively about the role of an individual, and how to
be different. When I visited the civil rights museum
a couple years back, I stood staring at pictures of angry white faces
blocking the path to African Americans trying to make their way to class
or to the counter in a diner during the desegregation movements, and I
couldn’t help but wonder--if I had grown up there, in that time, with
that propaganda about white supremacy flowing all around me, would I be
one of those racist angry faces? It scared me because we don’t really
ever know whether we will be strong enough individuals in the moments
that count and have the boldness, the courage to be different than the
mobs around us. And
yet, I’ve seen such individual strength in many of you, and it
sometimes causes you to be a bit brighter, perhaps too bright for
others’ comfort sometimes, but hold onto this light.
the same time, we have to know when and how to be a team player. There
is strength and unified purpose in collective beliefs. And it really is
true that “together” we build our future, so putting aside our personal
agendas or transferring our light to others so that they may shine
instead of us sometimes, is very important to building anything
meaningful together. It’s just knowing when to sing above the chorus and
when to join in the harmony that makes all the difference.
Balancing Act #3: Don’t FAIL (catastrophically)...but try hard to make and embrace some mistakes.
Claudia echoed this point when she said, “The
teenager stage, I think, is one of the hardest stages. It’s the period
where we try to figure out who we are, and what we want in life and it’s
all very confusing. It’s also the age where we learn from our
mistakes and use it towards the future.” The
trick is not falling off the cliff in the process of
misstepping a little, and of course, the ability to reflect on your
mistakes to grow.
In talking to Coach Dawson,
I asked about the practice of watching film after a game. He said,
“When we watch film, we watch what mistakes were made, and we ask
ourselves--did we run our plays correctly? Were our kids hustling like
they should have been. We highlight the positive, but we look for room
for improvement.” He pointed to the Heat v. Pacers series. When happens
when you go up in flames and lose by 20 something? What transpires
between a devastating Game 3 loss and a convincing Game 4 win and a
crushing victory in Game 5?
life, we often miss the nuances of activity surrounding what we are
focusing on, and thereby miss the learning opportunities. The next time
you make a mistake, even a big one, don’t just examine where the ball
was on the court when you mis-shot; rewind the film so that you can see
where the other players were around you, who could have helped. Was
there a pass open, an assist opportunity? Rewind, play, pause, reflect,
learn...and grow to victory.
also brought up a point about the role we play in the moment versus the
moment of detailed reflection, how they are different. Why can’t a
coach see everything (beyond not having 10 sets of eyes)? It’s because
in the moment, we have to focus on attitude, on being positive and
encouraging (and not yelling our heads off...too much). When you are in the
moments of your life, almost always, it is mainly your attitude that
matters, and the same is true for reflecting on your mistakes.
Balancing Act #4: Yes, you will have some new freedoms...but don’t go crazy.
Mark wrote, "Teens just do not notice how many freedoms they have. All they notice is what they don’t have." Summer H. went on to say, "For our parents, our teen years are an experiment, for us it’s getting a
glimpse of adult life. Sometimes as teens feel that it’s our “right” to
do whatever and be whatever we want. Being a teen we’re exposed to a
whole new dimension of good and bad. We have to be very responsible in
exercising our freedoms to make the right choices."
On this note...cut your parents some slack and realize that it’s their job to instill these freedoms a little bit at a time. Diamond wrote about this actually. She said, "Being
a teen comes with a ton of responsibility. This is the period between
child and adult. Once you turn 18 you’re an adult. This is probably why
parents get so worked up. This is their job, but we know that they are
the only people who will always be there for us." Wise words, indeed, and as a parent, AMEN!
Finally, Balancing Act #5: Work hard...but have fun.
I can say about this one is I went to the Marlins game last night with the softball team instead of
finishing this address, fortunate for you because we have to get you
from here to your paintballing adventure!
you move up today into high school and later beyond, remember to
balance and rebalance constantly by shifting weight ever so slightly. I
hope I have also shown you that as strong as our own voices are, when
you pull them all together, there is more wisdom in the collection and
more power in the message....so rely on each other! Congratulations to
all of you on all the successes (and mistakes) of this stage of your
life and welcome to high school!